


There Are Such Things

by skywokers



Category: His Dark Materials (TV), His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Genre: Canon Divergence, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, but breaks canon overall, just a lot of Dad!Asriel feels, more TV canon than book canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-23 06:09:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21315460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skywokers/pseuds/skywokers
Summary: Set after the Retiring room; Lord Asriel tells Lyra the truth about her parentage.
Relationships: Lyra Belacqua & Lord Asriel
Comments: 7
Kudos: 155





	There Are Such Things

_“Lyra, there are things that… There are such things that you’re better off not understanding just yet.”_

Asriel sat for a moment. He sighed, processing the unintended double meaning of his words. Yes, it was mainly about Dust, but his thoughts lingered- as they always were when he was with Lyra- on the secrets he kept from her. He had thought so many times about telling her the truth about her parentage, that he was her father- but always took the cowards way out.

In the moments earlier- when she had leapt to save him from the poisoned wine; when she agreed to spy for him; as he carried her to her room and saw into her little world (a world that idolised him so)- he realised that somehow despite everything, she loved him unconditionally. And that was only in her believing that he was her uncle. His heart broke. Imagine the level of love if she had known the truth.

A wave of emotion washed over him. God, how he loved her. How he wished that he could have raised her properly. But it was not to be. His actions may have saved their lives, but they also sealed their fate.

“Can I see the man’s head?” Lyra asked, braking Asriels concentration.

“No” he replied instinctively, but with an unfamiliar humoured tone to his voice. “Why would I let you do that?” he continued shaking his head with a smile.

She smiled back at him, clearly happy that her little joke made him laugh. His heart leapt. And before he knew it- with Lyras one small simple action- Asriel decided to tell her the truth.

“Lyra, there is something I need to tell you” began Asriel, turning to face her more clearly.

“Yes Uncle” Lyra replied. His heart broke again at that word. But it would be the last time she would say it to him. That he knew. Besides, it meant that Lyra was _actually_ paying attention to what he was saying.

“There is something you should know about your parents. Something I should have told you long ago. The truth is long and complicated, and I have been a coward in hiding it from you.”

“You ain’t a coward. You’re the bravest man I know!” interrupted Lyra, in a passionate defence of her uncle.

“There’s more to bravery than exploring the north” sighed Asriel. “The bravest thing you can do is always the right thing. And I have been wrong in hiding the truth from you Lyra.”

Asriel sighed again. He could feel his pulse racing. Why was this so hard? This was something he not only _had _to do , but _wanted_ to do.

“Lyra, your parents…they are not who I told you they are. In all honesty, I never had a brother; I’m not your uncle…” His voice broke slightly. He raised his eyes to meet hers. Within them he saw Lyra processing everything, making connections in her mind between things that once seemed trivial, but which now meant the world.

Pan jumped up on Lyras shoulder and whispered in her ear. She glanced at her daemon, and then at his. “Then who are you?” she asked.

Asriel sat looking at her, word somehow failing him. He hoped that the silence would speak for him, but Lyra disagreed.

“Tell me the truth” she said with a fierce determination, but also with tears forming in her eyes.

“I’m your father” he finally answered. The words fumbled from his mouth, but with it he felt as if a great weight had been lifted from him. Yet he also realised that one was about to crash down on Lyra.

“Why?” asked Lyra, who was clearly hurt by his lack of tact.

“Why what?” Asriel replied.

“Why’d you give me up? Why’d you lie to me? Don’t I mean anything to you?”

“Lyra, you have always meant the world to me. That’s why you’re here. The lie was to keep you safe from those out there who would do you harm. And yes, it was easier for me to say that you were only my niece, to pretend that you were but an afterthought, but it killed me every time.” The passion in his voice was rising. Lyra gazed at him in fear and wonder and pain. But also, as always, with such love.

“I gave you up because I had to, not because I wanted to” Asriel continued, softer than before. “Lyra, the circumstances surrounding your birth were...not proper, lets just say. A man came to hurt me and do God knows what to you. And I killed him in self-defence, in your defence! But as a consequence, the courts didn’t allow me to keep you.”

Asriels tale of honour and bloodshed clearly ignited something within Lyra. Every look of hurt and anger was beginning to be washed away with excitement.

“But why? You were in the right- you were helping me!”

“Yes, which is why I wasn’t sent to jail. But the courts believed that his reason for coming after me was also valid. You see, this man was married to your mother.”

Lyra gasped. She turned to look at Pan who gazed back at her, both with a great sense of shock and confusion. After a few moments she spoke.

“Not proper is a bit of an understatement” said Lyra with a smirk on her face. Asriel smiled in reply.

“So, what happened to her? My mother?” asked Lyra.

“Well, she had kept our affair a secret from her husband. Truth be told I don’t think she knew who the father was until you were born. You see, you bore no resemblance to her husband and subsequently she then claimed that you had died. She handed responsibility to me, and I placed you into the care of a gyptian. After I killed her husband, she was left a widow and wanted nothing more to do with either of us. I don’t blame her really. I don’t think she ever loved me, and she never struck me as the maternal type. So you ended up here.”

The two of them sat in silence as Lyra processed the story. Their daemons whispered to each other, but neither Lyra nor Asriel could hear what was said. In the distance, they could hear the clock tower strike midnight. It startled Asriel and Lyra, who were lost in their thoughts.

“My goodness, look at the time! You should be asleep.”

“No” Lyra protested. “I want to know more about her and about you!”

“Hush Lyra,” replied Asriel, brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I’m due to leave tomorrow, _but_ I will postpone for another day if it means making peace with you Lyra. I feel that I have a lot to make up for with you and I would like to. But for now you need sleep.” He stood and walked towards to door.

“Wait!” cried Lyra, as Asriel opened the door.

“Lyra, go to bed.”

“Just one more thing- please!” begged Lyra.

Asriel sighed. Oh, how there was nothing he wouldn't do for her. “Quickly then- what is it?”

“What do I call you? I mean if everyone else thinks that I think you’re my Uncle then I’ll call you that around them, but what about when it’s just you and me?”

Asriel paused for a moment. In all honesty he hadn’t even thought about that, and yet here was Lyra thinking two steps ahead of him. She really was brilliant.

“I’ll leave that decision up to you” he answered. “Now, _goodnight_.”

As he shut the door behind him, Asriel heard Lyra call “Goodnight” in reply, but what he didn’t hear was the word she softly whispered next;

_“Dad”_

**Author's Note:**

> So I had a lot of emotions regarding these two after the show premier, and had to get them out. This will probably be just one or two chapters- I have neither the time or the energy to do a full fic, but I hope y'all enjoy!


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